Ugly online dating
More and more of us insist on outsourcing our love-lives to spreadsheets and algorithms.
According to the Pew Research Center, the overwhelming majority of Americans suggest that online dating is a good way to meet people.
And since they themselves get so many more messages than everyone else, they write back much less frequently.
Here’s the graph for female senders, plotted in evenly-spaced “attractiveness groups.”One interesting thing seems to be going on here: when the best-looking men write the worst-looking women, their message success rate takes a big hit.
In the upcoming posts in this series, we’re going to control for attractiveness, so that we can deliver real and useful advice for all the non-models out there.
We’ll look at, among other things: what makes a good picture (is it taken outside?
So basically, guys are fighting each other 2-for-1 for the absolute best-rated females, while plenty of potentially charming, even cute, girls go unwritten. As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. On the other hand, when it comes to actual messaging, women shift their expectations only just slightly ahead of the curve, which is a healthier pattern than guys’ pursuing the all-but-unattainable.
The curve is symmetric and surprisingly charitable: a woman is as likely to be considered extremely ugly as extremely beautiful, and the majority of women have been rated about “medium.” The chart normalized, even though it’s just the unfiltered opinions of our male users.
Given the popular wisdom that Hollywood, the Internet, and Photoshop have created unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look, I found the fairness and, well, realism, of this gray arc kind of heartening.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and conventional wisdom both suggest that love is a fundamental human need. A survey conducted in 2013 found that 77% of people considered it “very important” to have their smartphones with them at all times.
Most people meet their significant others through their social circles or work/school functions. In the search for a potential date, more and more people are switching to less traditional methods. With the rise and rise of apps like Tinder (and the various copycat models) who could blame them.